Why I Started Blogging | Day 6/30

a lady blogging

Life grants you a restart every time you hit reset. It doesn’t ask why, it offers you space to ask why not?

I started blogging around 2011. I restarted blogging in 2018. Both with different outlooks. Both with an immense sense of fulfilment. Let’s circle back.

The year is 2011… 

My friends and followers on Facebook have gassed me up enough for my writing skills. Where I see blatant typos and a story disconnected, they see a book deal and some writing honours. They are convinced this it!

I used to write awful Poetry back then. Awful because now I look back and realize I wrote my work in that disgusting Facebook language. Granted the message would always shine through, it was lazily done. I do however think that editing my work now almost a decade later would give it the lift it so deserved.

My poetry days are behind me now. But I’m grateful for the way they shaped my writing style. I can’t escape Creative Writing even if I wished to.

I had lost my second parent the year before. It hit me two-fold as I never really grieved my mother’s death which by then was 8 years after. It hit me hard. Anyone who has suffered loss will tell you grief never goes away. Yes, you will suppress it for as long as you can, you will assume you have completely healed. But it will come back to bite you. And bite me it did.

I did not even realize how lost I was until I gathered my thoughts and expressed them on an unfiltered blog. My words had transcended Facebook walls and became something more memorable and more meaningful than I could’ve possibly predicted. If I were to give it a niche I would call it a grief blog. I would write while weeping. Those who read my work back then could see all the pain that I was letting go off.  It was a steady accumulation of little moments that filled my silence. It was therapy. It was home. It was right.

Just when I thought I was on the mend after a year of blogging, I lost my grandmother and then my best friend. The pain, the words, the platform. Monthly Apostrophe, (a collection of letters sent to my dearly departed) went on for two more years and in 2014 I took a one year sabbatical for a digital cleanse of sorts.

That was the year I discovered myself. I peeled off all the layers deep within myself and found an understanding. I stopped publishing but would continue journalling and writing morning pages. None of this strangely deep, sometimes dark writing saw the light of day.

One year is a long time. I went completely blue as well. Sometimes I would struggle to even get out of bed but I never stopped writing for myself. You can’t see it until you’re out of it. In 2015 after the sabbatical, I published my work again but it just felt like the end of an era. My blog didn’t feel like an outlet anymore. Sometimes you’re the person going through it, and sometimes you’re the person loving someone through it.

I remembered how to live again but forgot how to write.

The year is 2018… 

If you were born to write, no matter how many times you run away from it, it will always find you back.

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Stumbled Upon this vision board I made in 2015 when  I was so into Productivity, don't ask how that went. The Good – I made it timeless, didn't set out timelines no pressure. The Bad – I relaxed and I've only achieved the bare minimum thus far. Now that I'm older and perhaps wiser I can see this was an obvious cry for creating in whichever form. Peep that camera on the side lol.  As if the fortune tellers were yelling at me to ditch the med life and be the creator I've low-key always wanted to be. Funny because that has been my battle for the better part of last year. My muse is ready to go back to writing or whatever else but my heart is in saving a life or two. So why can't a girl have both? Moral of the story – Take a step back, reset, Live. Happy 2018. #AWomansWorld

A post shared by Lila | Kenya (@lilawrite) on

This time I was more mature, self-aware and emotionally healthier despite the countless triggers that dominate adulthood.

I was ready to relaunch for several reasons:

♦  To share motherhood experiences fearlessly and loudly

♦  To offer practical tips and hacks for having an organized and creative life

♦ To inspire my readers to live their truth and connect over shared interests

Every blogger has a unique voice and despite the occasional imposter syndrome, we should never be afraid to show it. Traffic should never be the lifeblood of our writing journey. As I evolve, I know my reasons to chisel a deep and lasting crack at this blogging thing will keep changing but what will remain certain is my love for writing. Hopefully, you will stay on with me.

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4 Comments

  1. June 6, 2019 / 3:47 pm

    This is deep. I felt it.

    There are some powerful quotable quotes here which, I should say before hand, I’ll use :). “Traffic should never be the lifeblood of our writing journey.” “Anyone who has suffered loss will tell you grief never goes away.”

    • Lila
      Author
      June 6, 2019 / 4:57 pm

      You are more than welcome to use them! Thank you for your words 🙂

  2. Yusto
    June 6, 2019 / 4:03 pm

    I remember that poetry. It was real, then really sweet. Coming back to blogging I would say, is the best of the choices you have made. As you said, and it can be evidently verified, your writing is now so mature.

    • Lila
      Author
      June 6, 2019 / 5:00 pm

      Yusto, I didn’t think anyone would remember hehe but it’s one of those processes that shape your journey ahead and I’m glad I went through all that. Thank you for this.

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